I have been longing to write down some thoughts about my last weeks experiences. For one reason or another, I have failed to do so--from no Internet, no time, confused, to maybe being embarrassed about what I am feeling.
I believe what I am feeling is normal, but I know some people will say "I told you so." I think that may be stopping me from writing. When past friends have moved out of our neighborhood, and have expressed how hard it is, others have quickly mouthed that they should have just stayed. Really? I do know this: staying is not the right answer for every family. It was not the right choice for my family-as sad as that makes me.
I do know that things have to be hard before they get better. I keep telling myself this, and Luke (who is needing constant encouragement.) And just because things are hard, does not mean that we have made the wrong decision.
Here are some thoughts about this last week:
Stressful. I am loosing large amounts of hair. My body aches everywhere.
Sad. It is hard to leave loved ones. But am glad that friendships don't end, and am grateful for the eternal friends I have made in my Stratford neighborhood.
Overwhelming. My house is very brown. I call it my Kahlua house. It is driving me crazy-and I want to paint immediately. But unless I go pick up some migrant workers at the Home Depot, I am going to have to be patient.
We have a double garage full of crap. I want it to be gone. Thrown away, and put away.
School starts on Tuesday. The elementary school is huge, and we have not been able to go look around. My kids are scared out of their minds. I walked into the office last week to register my kids and began to cry. "oh, you must be here to register your kindergartner?" I do have a kindergartner, but that is not why I was crying. So scary for all of us.
I cried on my first trip to Harmons in the District, and cried again when someone smiled at me in the grocery store.
I have these silly vinal stickers all over the new house. After reading all of them, and ending with this gem, my friend, Liz, said she felt like we need to make out. Ha ha. Make out or not, I just want them off.
I believe what I am feeling is normal, but I know some people will say "I told you so." I think that may be stopping me from writing. When past friends have moved out of our neighborhood, and have expressed how hard it is, others have quickly mouthed that they should have just stayed. Really? I do know this: staying is not the right answer for every family. It was not the right choice for my family-as sad as that makes me.
I do know that things have to be hard before they get better. I keep telling myself this, and Luke (who is needing constant encouragement.) And just because things are hard, does not mean that we have made the wrong decision.
Here are some thoughts about this last week:
Stressful. I am loosing large amounts of hair. My body aches everywhere.
Sad. It is hard to leave loved ones. But am glad that friendships don't end, and am grateful for the eternal friends I have made in my Stratford neighborhood.
Overwhelming. My house is very brown. I call it my Kahlua house. It is driving me crazy-and I want to paint immediately. But unless I go pick up some migrant workers at the Home Depot, I am going to have to be patient.
We have a double garage full of crap. I want it to be gone. Thrown away, and put away.
School starts on Tuesday. The elementary school is huge, and we have not been able to go look around. My kids are scared out of their minds. I walked into the office last week to register my kids and began to cry. "oh, you must be here to register your kindergartner?" I do have a kindergartner, but that is not why I was crying. So scary for all of us.
I cried on my first trip to Harmons in the District, and cried again when someone smiled at me in the grocery store.
Steve yells, "shut the door!" at the kids, A LOT!
I started crying in my gym class. My teacher told me to "stop wasting time and pick up your weights", but I am crying, I told him. "Sarah, I am sick of your excuses." (It does not sound as bad as it seems, he was at my house the day before helping move the elliptical.) And, it made my tears go away.
I ran around the lake one morning. Running is my therapy. Not on this day. I missed Tricia.
I am grateful for visitors. My mom, Liz, and Kelly! Thanks guys.
Traveling back and forth to Sugarhouse, is apparently long enough for Peter to get bored and decide to put gum in his hair.
I can shop at Ikea, Home Depot, Target, Harmons, grab a drink at McDonalds, all within a very short amount of time. I think I did all of that in an hour and a half.
Today is our first day at a new ward. I am nervous. I don't have the option of sitting in the hall and talking to a friend. So bring on Relief Society.
My mom gave me a talk that I found very insightful. I will share two parts I liked most.
"While saying goodbye to dear friends is often heart-wrenching ad tearful, embracing new friends can open doors to new experience and growth. Both situations assuredly offer opportunities to reach out and serve our friends."
The people who served us during this hard time, were God-sent. Who knew that a friend bringing diner over would be so helpful. But we had not had a home cooked meal in a long time. We had friends drop off boxes, and give encouragement. A place for the kids to hang out was extremely helpful. And the men who came to help us move, were worth their weight in gold. It was a lot of work.
I know these people are trying to do as the Savior would. I want to try to do better at serving others as well. Although I am depressed and lonely, this is no time for a pity party. The only way to happiness, is by making others feel happy.
"If we draw close to the Spirit of the Lord as we travel through life, I believe that our paths are guided to fellow travelers who might lift and strengthen us, and to those who might benefit from our uniquely God-given talents.
The Lord promises when we are engaged in his work, that "mine angels shall be round about you, to bear you up." D&C 84:88
I feel very strongly that I have met certain people for a reason. And because of them, I am a better person.
On a happier note, I was invited to go tube Little Cottonwood Creek yesterday afternoon. Talk about an adreneline rush! So awesome. I almost died, but didn't. :) Grateful to be included on such a fun adventure!
